The Cost of Always Taking Responsibility

For most people, taking the blame for something you had no control over sounds ridiculous.

For me? It’s normal.

Taking responsibility gives me a sense of power.

Because the moment I say, “That was Johnny’s fault,” I surrender all control.

I might as well say, “Welp. We’re screwed.”

And that? That doesn’t sit well with me.

So instead, my brain says:

“Johnny messed up… okay, what could I have done differently?”

It sounds productive.

It is productive.

It forces you to always problem-solve, adapt, learn.

But it comes at a cost.

1. Your peace.

2. Your sanity.

3. Your ability to breathe and say, “That wasn’t on me.”

   
   

What makes it worse?

Half the time, I don’t even realize I’m doing it out of fear.

Fear that if I don’t take control, there won’t be a solution.

That if I don’t carry the load, no one else will.

And I’m just now starting to see how heavy that fear really is.

Now imagine this…

Being a perfectionist—

But without the emotional wreckage.

Still having high standards—

But actually giving yourself grace when you don’t hit them.

Or hell, even better—celebrating yourself when you do.

That’s where the sweet spot is:

Somewhere in the valley between relentless drive and real joy.

And that’s the journey I’m on now.

I’m not giving up my standards.

But I’m done burning myself out in the name of achievement.

So let me ask you this:

• How many times have you set an unrealistic bar for yourself?

• How many times have you actually hit it?

• And how many times did you give yourself the permission to enjoy it?

  
  

We don’t need to stop being driven.

We need to start being human.

Take ownership for what’s yours.

Let go of what isn’t.

And give yourself (and others) a little grace when things go sideways.

It’s not all your fault.

And it never was.

Justin